Watertown High School

Class of 1956 ~ 55 Years of Ripening

 

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And They Ask Why I Like Retirement !

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, on of their
adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

My favorite one:
QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Mon to Fri. Nothing, Sat & Sun I rest!

Share this one with all the retirees that you know. I'm sure they can relate to some of them! AND, If you have not yet retired, look what you have to look forward to.

 

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Something to think about

Subject: Points to ponder:

 

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

 

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

 

3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

 

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

 

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

 

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

 

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

 

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks? I've wondered that myself.

 

9. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.

 

10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

 

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

 

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.

 

13. Think about this ... No one ever says "It's only a game" when his team is winning.

 

14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

 

15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.

 

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

 

17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!) I hope not.

 

18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.

 

19. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead. Nope....if I'm still hurtin: I'll be alive.